I recently had a long time friend over for supper. We had a great catch-up as we hadn’t meaningfully connected in some time. We share a love of the outdoors and many other things. I really enjoyed our time together. He felt the same way.

I was there at his side about a dozen years ago as he went through his experience of a high conflict relationship breakdown. He had my back when I left my marriage a couple years ago. Before his conflict started, he, his wife, and 4 young children were living a fully engaged, and by any reasonable standard, a very blessed family life. Sadly, then his wife left the relationship, and relationships with both his wife and his children soured considerably.

As I speak with men at CCMF going through their own version of high conflict intimate partner relationship breakdown, I try to support them to believe that despite how they feel and what they are experiencing right now, they will get through it. And on the other side there is potentially a brilliant future waiting for them.

Throughout his ordeal, my friend really inspired me. He stuck to his core values and integrity and always said that the truth would be revealed. His journey was long and arduous. As we shared dinner and caught up, I started to realize that he was a perfect example and living proof of exactly what I try to convey about the possibility of a brilliant future.

He’s been gaining momentum for at least 6 years and now finds himself experiencing satisfaction and fulfillment in many facets of his life. His business is thriving, his relationship with his children is solid and loving, and he’s recently been blessed with a grandchild. He is excited about a new love relationship. He plays outside constantly doing activities he loves and because of his hard work & diligence, he lives well and even takes the occasional trip or adventure.

It was so nice to hear about his life now – it seems to be firing on all cylinders. When I inquired what he would advise others, he said “make a decision not to go through it alone (find support), don’t self medicate in any way, and find and stay in your center (your core values)”.

Guys – it is possible. What you may be going through is likely not fair or just. You may feel you’re getting screwed at every turn and the system is rigged. It’s likely nauseatingly challenging and difficult. It may look hopeless. It may not go your way. Maybe not even close to your way.

But please take heart. It won’t last forever and you have much life ahead of you and quite possibly a very good life.

Our experience with many men at CCMF is evidence there can be a good life on the other side. It can be hard to imagine and for sure it will take perseverance, courage, and support. Hang in there. Know that all will eventually pass. Better days are coming.

  • Who can inspire and support you?
  • What are your core values? Write them down.
  • What positive vision can you imagine for your future?

Wishing you godspeed in your journey to the other side.

With loving kindness,

Coach Billy T.